Take a deep breath and write. Ride 100 miles on a bike through the countryside, pause, take a deep breath, and write. Listen to the wind as it howls to summon the return of the autumn. Pull the blanket closer, take a deep breath, and write. Turn around at your desk on the 21st floor and watch the city wake up to a meak and fragile sun. Stretch, take a deep breath, and write. Wipe off an old photograph, admire it, take a deep breath, and write. Open a birthday card, smile, take a deep breath, and write.
Because I don't want to forget this, I will write.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, March 01, 2009
I'm awesome, apparently.
So, all the letters of recommendation are in for my U of Illinois application. I "waived" my right to them, but my supervisors all shared them with me, anyway.
I tend to only see my weaknesses, and fear when the facade might fall apart. I'm not that awesome, really. God knows that, but maybe I've done a good job of hiding that from most everybody else.
But their letters give me hope too. Hope that in spite of how right now I don't feel that accomplished, I have left a positive mark somewhere.
I tend to only see my weaknesses, and fear when the facade might fall apart. I'm not that awesome, really. God knows that, but maybe I've done a good job of hiding that from most everybody else.
But their letters give me hope too. Hope that in spite of how right now I don't feel that accomplished, I have left a positive mark somewhere.
Monday, January 12, 2009
It takes one...
Lately, I've seen so many bad marriages. I've met a lot of women who are stuck in a rut in life, all because of one fateful bad decision to marry. Some are divorced, but have lost their youth and ability to love from fighting with their mate for years. Some are still married, but the look in their eyes even to a complete stranger in the grocery store says "I married the wrong man."
This makes the concept of marriage seem much less desirable to me. I am in a long-term relationship, learning about communication and trust. I've seen sides of my guy that irritate the heck out of me, and I know there is a lot of things I envisioned for my future mate that he will never be.
So it becomes this game for both of us. How much can I compromise? What's negotiable and what's really important? I do a lot of compromising in relationships, but I need someone who can do the same for me.
When do you say, this is where it ends for me, I'll love this person no matter what? I've seen a lot of ugly "no matter what's" go very wrong.
This makes the concept of marriage seem much less desirable to me. I am in a long-term relationship, learning about communication and trust. I've seen sides of my guy that irritate the heck out of me, and I know there is a lot of things I envisioned for my future mate that he will never be.
So it becomes this game for both of us. How much can I compromise? What's negotiable and what's really important? I do a lot of compromising in relationships, but I need someone who can do the same for me.
When do you say, this is where it ends for me, I'll love this person no matter what? I've seen a lot of ugly "no matter what's" go very wrong.
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